Share your thoughts on this alternate introduction to Vanguardian.
Vanguardian is a historical speculative romance that explores race, power, and identity through the lives of three main characters in an empire threatened by war. Available online and at bookstores.
Below was the second introduction I crafted for the story some years ago. I later wrote a different one (this intro) believing it was better. Now, looking back at the one below, I feel it is a better introduction to the story and builds momentum faster. Share your thoughts. Thank you for your votes. This is now the official intro of the novel.
Salvage, Monde – Planet Holera
War had sent Nasrin far from home. She could have been thousands of miles away, feeling the warmth of the Mansian air ruffle the hem of her kaftan. Instead, with ceaseless regularity, she endured starvation and any number of forms of exposure; tonight, it was frostbite. Forcing the cabin door shut against a volley of biting wind, she entered the one-room dwelling empty-handed. Her makeshift animal trap once again failed to catch anything. Agnes and Judith, the elderly sisters who had opened their home to her when she was exiled from her own, always gave her hope to try again each day. The sisters turned their faces from the entry door and began their nighttime ritual: together, they knelt beside their shared cot and recited scripture. This was the nightly cycle of the last three years of Nasrin’s life: the first three years of her son Lucian’s life.
In the day, they confronted the dense forest shrouding the cabin. Nasrin gathered wood as Lucian played by her side. Nasrin always paused to look through the dense trees to the southeast, thinking of her homeland, Mansia, a country Lucian would never see. At night, she stared through the trees for a different reason, scanning up through their canopies, hoping never to encounter the luminous instrument that heralded her descent into a life of obscurity—a darkness akin to the shadows cast over the cabin that night.
The women continued praying as Nasrin’s toes and fingers thawed from being out in the snow. Then, she lowered herself to the cot she shared with Lucian to sleep beside him. Every black strand of his hair glinted like firebolts in the windowed moonlight as Nasrin gently ran her cold fingertips through it. He had fallen asleep waiting for her to return from outside. Listening to the soft, see-saw of his breath and the whispered hymns of the sisters, Nasrin finally rested her head and sank into sleep.
War had driven Nasrin to her new life. But, if not for war, she would not have Lucian.
Duke Fabien de Vistré shouted commands as a detachment of gendarmes dispersed on horseback around him, entering the eastern woodlands at the edge of Monde. Gabriel, a lieutenant and the second in command, followed close behind. The still forest progressively woke to the cracking of branches and echoes of men’s voices. As the cavalry advanced, the noise traveled the distance to Nasrin’s ears. Agnes and Judith woke to her alarmed whispers.
“Wake up! Listen.”
Agnes sat up in a hurry.
“I hear men outside,” Nasrin said.
Judith opened her eyes and lay still a moment to listen. “They’re getting closer,” she replied, eyes wide and fixed on Nasrin.
Nasrin’s gaze shifted between the sisters, who looked gravely back at her. Exchanging no words, Nasrin rolled over on her cot and looked down at Lucian. He was still asleep.
“Remember,” Agnes whispered, gently rising from her cot, “you will have to leave him with us . . .”
I hope you’ve enjoyed this excerpt. To continue reading, please get your copy. Available online and at bookstores.
The Clerk 
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