Video from independent editor Ellen Brock: 1.) Unclear point of view & "head-hopping" - This mistake can scare off agents/editors/publishers 2.) Too much voice (overly poetic or descriptive) 3.) Not enough voice (robotic writing and not enough description) 4.) Too much telling 5.) Not enough conflict and/or no clear goal for protag   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R-jXu88C51w